I need a hitman

It might be a pterodactyl, sure looks like one to me. It is actually called a turkey vulture, a.k.a. a buzzard, and there is one 'buzzing' my house. Remember in the movie 'Top Gun' when Maverick and Goose buzzed the control tower? Yea...well, my living room is the tower and that behemoth is the F15. It flies sideways past my big windows, all 6' of its bedraggled feathers visible. It's showing off.

I want it to go away, so I asked my great hunter hubby to shoot it. Afterall, he shoots beavers and muskrats at a moments notice because they mess up the drainage on the lake. He shoots the giant snapping turtles too because they eat the baby ducks. He won't shoot my buzzard. That's right, I said MY buzzard. It's playing mind games with me.

Apparently one cannot shoot a buzzard. WTH? A coyote can be shot any time during the year, but not an ugly, bare-headed, giant flying rat? I don't understand this logic. They eat carion these birds, so they are not going to eat me or my little dogs. I have a bad feeling we are dealing with a mutant. I don't think this one knows that he should be circling the interstates for roadkill.

I know he can see me in here blogging about him. His beady eyes were probably watching me clean the house earlier today too...waiting for me to go outside. I even asked what the consequences would be if one were to, say, meet an accidental demise. It's a federal offense! Seriously?! The feds should not concern themselves with my petty bird scuffle and just look the other way. I have some 'foreign relations' to keep up.